Autism, Sexuality, and Safety: How to Talk About Puberty, Privacy, and Consent
Talking about sexuality with children can be difficult for any family. When a child has autism or another developmental disability, those conversations can become even more complicated — but they aren't necessarily less important.
In this episode of Acorns to Oaks, Kristine Dixon and Sarah Marino discuss how parents, caregivers, and clinicians can approach sexual health with openness, compassion, cultural responsiveness, and a strong focus on safety.
Physical Development Doesn't Always Match Developmental Age
An autistic child or young adult may develop communication, social, or independent-living skills at a different pace than their peers. Their physical development, however, continues.
Puberty happens. Hormones change. Bodies change. Self-exploration may begin.
Recognizing that difference is important because families may still think of an adolescent or young adult as much younger based on their interests, communication, or support needs. Their changing body can require an entirely different set of skills and conversations.
Body Autonomy, Consent, and Safety
Sexual-health education isn't only about sexuality. It's also about safety and self-advocacy.
Learning the correct names for body parts, understanding who is allowed to touch their body and under what circumstances, recognizing private and public situations, and knowing how to communicate when a boundary has been crossed can all become important safety skills.
As children become teenagers and young adults, those conversations can expand to include consent, dating, healthy relationships, sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy, and the legal and personal consequences of sexual behavior.
It Shouldn't Be Just One Conversation
One of the most important themes of the episode is that this doesn't need to be a single, intimidating "talk."
It can be an ongoing conversation that changes as the child grows.
A conversation about body parts and privacy in childhood can eventually become a conversation about puberty. Later, it may become a conversation about consent, dating, relationships, or sexual health.
Keeping communication open can also make it easier for an individual to ask questions or tell a trusted adult when something has happened.
Someone Is Going to Provide the Information
Avoiding conversations about sexuality doesn't prevent children from receiving information about it.
They may learn from friends. They may see sexuality represented in television, movies, advertising, or online. They will also experience their own changing bodies.
As Kristine explains in the episode, “There is going to be teaching happening to your child whether you're involved or not.”
Parents and caregivers have an opportunity to make sure that teaching includes accurate information, safety, consent, and their own family's values.
For families who aren't sure how to begin, support can come from pediatricians, behavior analysts, nurse practitioners, physician assistants, and other professionals involved in the child's care. Visual supports and other teaching methods may also make these concepts more accessible when a spoken conversation alone isn't the best approach.
Sexual health is part of physical health and mental health. Approaching it with honesty and compassion can help individuals develop the knowledge, autonomy, and safety skills they'll carry with them into adulthood.
Watch or listen to the full episode of Acorns to Oaks to hear Kristine Dixon and Sarah Marino's complete conversation about sexuality, developmental disabilities, consent, privacy, and safety.
